Marriage is in the air. With summer celebrations coming to an end, fall weddings are just around the corner. Even pop icon Taylor Swift—to the delight of millions of her fans—has recently announced her engagement to football star Travis Kelce. In my own life, this year has seen many happy weddings of close friends. Three of my best friends were married during the summer and one more will be married this fall. I was blessed to attend one of these weddings and I wanted to share a few of my reflections.
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As the bride made her way down the aisle, I could tell she was in between tears and laughter. This moment was the emotional height of a year’s worth of planning. This moment marked one of the most important days of her life. In front of the altar, our college chaplain stood next to the groom, who awaited his bride with deep emotion. Family and friends filled the pews in the small church, but as she walked down the aisle, the bride had eyes for none but the groom.
We could sense their relief and their joy at finally being together on this most special of days. The stress of planning and organizing was gone and behind them. All that mattered today was him and her and, most importantly, God.
Venerable Fulton Sheen famously said, “It takes three to get married.” During the wedding Mass, I was struck by the newlywed couple’s prayerfulness throughout the ceremony. It is good that a couple receives attention and praise on their wedding day, but it is even more important that they give glory to God. If not for God, they would not be at this moment. It was God who brought them into being, orchestrated their paths to cross, and united them in the strongest bond found this side of heaven: “Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man put asunder” (Matt 19:6).
Beyond the wedding day itself, I have also enjoyed speaking to my friends about their plans for their future life with their spouses. Many of them have expressed both excitement and anxiety over such new beginnings. The future is full of questions—where will they live, will they keep their job, how will they relate to their friends and their new families? Through many legitimate doubts and worries, my friends continually express a deep sense of faith and purpose as they step out into this new territory. They do so with trust in God’s direction and wisdom.
It takes three to get married because marriage is not a one-off event that takes place in a church. Instead, it is meant to be a lifelong journey into divine intimacy. A couple’s daily self-giving love is meant to function as a mirror through which they come to better understand the infinite love that God has for every human soul. Part of the process of that understanding involves purification. Real love is forged in the furnace of sacrifice. Trials will await the newly married couple—disappointments, arguments, fear and loneliness—but if they turn to the Lord, he will transform their cracked and bruised hearts, filling and forging them anew in his love. Thus, a man or woman discovers in the person of their spouse the path to heaven, where their love on earth will be transfigured for all eternity.
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Photo by Fr. Lawrence Lew, O.P. (used with permission)
